On Sabbatical (Journal Entry)

I hate the feeling of let down. It sends a post-traumatic sensation through my mind. Even the slightest hint that something has gone wrong is like the worst thing that could happen in my space and time. I’ve gotten better at separating feelings from facts. But the facts don’t hide the feelings, just like my right hand never knows what’s going on with my left.

My Kaleidoscope (Poem)

I found my silver lining tucked away in sharded glass Stacks on stacks of broken dreams, unfinished goals, uncharted maps They said that I could find it If only I could breathe If only I could hold my breath Fall on bended knees ‘It works if you work it’ The slogan of the day So […]

No fireflies in cemeteries is a travesty (Journal Entry)

Ever since I was a child I have been buggin on cemeteries. At first, it was a playful thing. My father would take me to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings during my summer visits in the Bronx, and for some strange reason, there was always a cemetery nearby. The adults would attend the meetings, and the children […]

Psychiatry is shaking us like snow globes (Journal Entry)

What happens when you shake a snow globe? A whirlwind disseminates around whatever masterpiece lies beneath. And as that masterpiece awaits patiently to be revealed, the shaker continues to shake and shake and shake, as though chaos is more amusing than art.

Introducing myself in the mental health field (Journal Entry)

I recently joined a revolutionary movement in the mental healthcare field. I was accepted into a training program to become a Recovery Support Specialist. I have only completed two classes yet I have learned more about recovery in sixteen hours than I ever learned throughout years of treatment. I have so much to say about this program but first, allow me to introduce myself.

Seeing in Fours (Poem)

My advice for active alcoholics is…

If you’re seeing in ones
You’re good
If you’re seeing in twos
You’re a little bit tipsy
If you’re seeing in threes
You might do something you will regret
If you’re seeing in fours
GOD BLESS

Rolling Stone (Poem)

I spent so much time
Trying not to think
I forgot how to think

Doing stupid shit
Saying stupid things
Stuck in my roll

If I’m a rolling stone
I’m a hafta stop
At some point in time

Nothing is forever
When you ain’t so clever
Burning it down

Rebirth (Poem)

I died last night
My heart stopped beating as I sank into the void
No light
No darkness
No angels or demons
Just an all-consuming silence that tethered my soul to nothingness
As my soul drifted waywardly
Searching for a new life
I glanced back at my hollow shell
My whole life flashed before my eyes
And for just one perfect moment
I saw the beauty in all my pain
The ups and downs

Step One: Unmanageability (Twelve Steps)

‘And my life has become unmanageable…’ This is clearly an understatement for the life that I have led since birth. I’ve been a loner, a pessimist, an antagonist, a miserable wretch. I’ve been a liar, a cheater, a wallower in my own self-made dispair. I’ve been a walking, talking, babbling brook of disaster.

Step One: Powerlessness (Twelve Steps)

Addiction is the cold war pulling at our heartstrings; each an isolation of its own and all unwilling to reach out in communion with the rest. It’s a cold war that leaves us seething with resentment and anger over the people, places, and things we have no control over.

Enslaved by social norms, jonesing for distraction, obsessed with feel-good moments, fixated on the notion that the whole world revolves around whatever prison we have created for ourselves.