Instant Bum (Poem)

If you want to be an instant bum Survive by being a hoe Sell your jewels, your car and then your home Your baby’s diapers and your daughter’s clothes If you want to compromise your sexuality for just one more Waste your life away in hallways and bathroom stalls People please until you forget who you are Leave your Mama wondering when she’s gonna get that call If you want to block the blessings that present you everyday Diss the Angels who pray for your recovery Live your life like the Earth ain’t crying out in pain A waste of space in a world gone insane Go ahead Let your disease talk you into one more run But if you don’t pick up You cant get high And you won’t be an instant bum

The Coast is Never Clear (Poem)

As I start the next chapter in my autobiography I praise the Good Lord for waking me up another day Free from the horrors of active addiction I have found a way to live and enjoy life… just for the day I thank God oh Lord for stickin and stayin Even in my darkest hour The hideous four horsemen were denied the boast of my obliteration Terror, bewilderment, frustration, despair The whistling winds of loneliness The burdens I couldn’t bear All have been arrested along with worry and fear I’m talking about a God who taught me how to sit up straight Get down on my knees and pray Quit whining and communicate

Getting Clean Problem (Poem)

My life is on the skids My soul is on skid row I got a blight of a mind way out the line inside a tomb I can’t remember when I went mad Allz I know is I’m no fool I got a million reasons why I can’t get in line with all your drool I’m married to my filth Dirt from head to foot I never wash my hand clean of the messes that I earn I’m in debt for things I don’t own anymore I got nothing in my bag At times I reminisce on the life I never had You say I have a drinking problem But I don’t know what that means Maybe you got me confused with somebody who cares what you think

You Showed Me The Way (Poem)

I stepped out of a dark place that I stepped in before I ever knew… Anything I stepped out of the dark place still not knowing… Anything I thought I knew And I make sure you knew I knew But even though you knew I didn’t know You still told me go keep coming, keep sharing, keep growing You loved me until I learned to love myself Unconditional love

Ms. Been Here (Poem)

A Mrs. Got Here told a Mrs. Been Here she didn’t wanna be here no more Mrs. Got Here didn’t need to be here Cuz she got this on here own So Mrs. Been Here told a Mrs. Got Here She best check herself at the door You gon wreck yourself Before you even get yourself If you put yourself before God When you say you got this You already lost this You picked up miles before you even copped shit Talking all the same shit Peddlin the apeshit Lettin all bullshit Keep you in the deep shit Don’t fucken hear what I say Just keep your shit on replay Cuz I’m a still Been Here And you’ll keep coming back here

Tolerance for Bullsh** (Poem)

In hindsight it is always with incredible foresight that my tolerance for bullshit leads me back to counting days I never put much thought into it Into why I tolerate people, places and things that hinge on character assassination All the while showing little tolerance toward those who can potentially elevate my character I see now that tolerance is how I view myself If I can’t tolerate someone it’s because I can’t tolerate something within myself And that’s where things get twisted…

Maimed (Poem)

Once an addict always an addict That’s what they like to say Another dehumanizing qualifier to keep us all locked up in chains Divisive antics to keep us in different classes to make it so one can make it through to the higher ways Unconditional positive regard worse that a four letter word to most it just seems so absurd that an addict should ever be heard

. . . (Poem)

Someone snatched my body and took it for a ride  I was there But not really Your judgments don’t apply  It’s really hard to look back at the person I never was  It’s even harder to remember that place I went to take time off 

Life on Limited Terms (Poem)

Many of an addict has a story of the call to the streets The call of freedom to do as thou will and live life without restraint Or so it is thought Surrounded by world class liars who can’t afford honesty If you can’t lie your ass off to get what you want You got no game Trying on self-hating masks to people please your way up Can’t nobody tell you nothing You get what you want And want what ain’t cut

The Spark Within (Poem)

I can’t remember who I was before I forgot what life was all about Or maybe I never knew And that’s the reason I lost sight of who I was But that don’t matter here and now Cuz the girl I lost and never found Could’ve never known the holes I’ve dug Or how to fight her way back out You grow through what you go through And you go through what you need to find out who you really are As much as I hate the things I’ve done And I don’t wish my life on anyone I never would’ve lit the blaze If I hadn’t lost the spark within