Broken Pieces (Journal Entry)
I can’t tell if it’s me that is broken or if it’s the world that is broken or if my head is stuck in a box. Or maybe the box is all in my head and I can’t escape because the box makes more sense than the world.
Or maybe we’re all just a bunch of broken pieces scattered in a melee of confusion, trying to connect, yearning to transform into an enchanted castle on a hill, fortified with wisdom and built with enduring love.
Step One: Unmanageability (Twelve Steps)
‘And my life has become unmanageable…’ This is clearly an understatement for the life that I have led since birth. I’ve been a loner, a pessimist, an antagonist, a miserable wretch. I’ve been a liar, a cheater, a wallower in my own self-made dispair. I’ve been a walking, talking, babbling brook of disaster.
My Little Friend (Poem)
Say hello to my little friend
The psalm of my hand in my brain
Never end
The Truth is a work living on
Never sin
Can take what you want
But you can’t ever win
Can’t shake my hand
Can’t take my friend
You can war the whole world
But the world won’t give in
The Lions and the Lambs (Journal Entry)
There’s a knot in my gut the size of my fist. I try to ignore it but it cries out like a mother bird in distress. Much like the premonitions that warned me against the crooked path I doomed myself to take. Seems the hell I’ve known is mercy compared to the hell that is to come.
The whole world is a human centipede. Battered sheep yearning for deliverance from their cold-hearted shepherd. I often wonder what mindblowing epiphany will compel the sheep to shed their wool and become lions treading through the fields of rebellion. It’s not enough for the sheep to know their shepherd is up to no good. They need to want to flee from his care. Herein lie the wall that won’t crack…
The movie “Spotlight” captures the essence of investigative journalism
Spotlight is based on The Boston Globe’s Pulitzer Prize winning coverage of a major sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic Archdiocese in Boston. The investigation revealed that high-ranking members of the Church covered-up sexual abuse of children by settling claims out of court and allowing guilty priests to keep their jobs. The initial report covered the actions of a priest named Paul Geoghan who was implicated in numerous abuse cases, and a prominent member of the Catholic Church in Boston, Cardinal Bernard Law, who knew about the abuse for years. Spotlight, The Globe’s investigation team, published its first story on January 6, 2002 along with the phone number of a hotline allowing more victims to come forth with allegations. Numerous investigations followed, uncovering hundreds of cases with thousands of victims in archdiocese across the US.
The movie “Spotlight” captures the essence of investigative journalism
Spotlight is based on The Boston Globe’s Pulitzer Prize winning coverage of a major sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic Archdiocese in Boston. The investigation revealed that high-ranking members of the Church covered-up sexual abuse of children by settling claims out of court and allowing guilty priests to keep their jobs. The initial report covered the actions of a priest named Paul Geoghan who was implicated in numerous abuse cases, and a prominent member of the Catholic Church in Boston, Cardinal Bernard Law, who knew about the abuse for years. Spotlight, The Globe’s investigation team, published its first story on January 6, 2002 along with the phone number of a hotline allowing more victims to come forth with allegations. Numerous investigations followed, uncovering hundreds of cases with thousands of victims in archdiocese across the US.
I’m a Butterfly (Lyrics)
I’m a caterpillar
I won’t stop until I’m full
I’m a butterfly
My chrysalis will set me free
Won’t you take a step back
And watch as I transpire
Into what I am
It was All a Dream…
Wreckage befell her disbelieving eyes. Windows smashed, furniture torn to shreds, valuables ransacked and left on the floor. Her family photos had been all but completely ravaged, peering out of the rubble as if to play a painful game of hide and seek. She was floored by the sight of her annihilation, dazed at the thought that she would never put back together the puzzle pieces of the life that she had fortified with love and tears.
Today’s Headlines
The Hardest Step (Poem)
The disease of isolation
Self-pity and self-harm
Anger and resentment
Selfish lies and selfish wants
It’s baffling
So obscure
Cunning and hard
It’s your own personal Satan pounding at your door
It’s the first place you run to when you want to hide
And the last place that gets you where you want to go
It gives you everything you want
But nothing that you need
Heartache and Time (Journal Entry)
Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck between a dump truck and a cliff. As the days go by the harder it is to look back. But moving forward feels so empty, a void that can neither be filled nor emptied. The upside down of the right side wrong. The further I walk the more I’ve lost.
And as I lose the self that won’t come back to me. I detach from the life that meant so much to me. I can’t remember the good or the bad. It’s like I jumped out a wormhole and forgot what just happened.
