Step One: Powerlessness (Twelve Steps)

Addiction is the cold war pulling at our heartstrings; each an isolation of its own and all unwilling to reach out in communion with the rest. It’s a cold war that leaves us seething with resentment and anger over the people, places, and things we have no control over.

Enslaved by social norms, jonesing for distraction, obsessed with feel-good moments, fixated on the notion that the whole world revolves around whatever prison we have created for ourselves.

Step One: Unmanageability (Twelve Steps)

‘And my life has become unmanageable…’ This is clearly an understatement for the life that I have led since birth. I’ve been a loner, a pessimist, an antagonist, a miserable wretch. I’ve been a liar, a cheater, a wallower in my own self-made dispair. I’ve been a walking, talking, babbling brook of disaster.

Lost in Space (Poem)

How can someone who burns so hot be so cold?
How can something that feels so right be so wrong?

It’s like I’m lost in space and I can’t go home

The further I drift
The hotter I burn
The colder it gets
The more I yearn

For something less painful than the stake in my back
I can’t relax
I can’t look at myself
This can’t go on
I’m still trying to make sense of it

I can’t make amends to it

The Lions and the Lambs (Journal Entry)

There’s a knot in my gut the size of my fist. I try to ignore it but it cries out like a mother bird in distress. Much like the premonitions that warned me against the crooked path I doomed myself to take. Seems the hell I’ve known is mercy compared to the hell that is to come.

The whole world is a human centipede. Battered sheep yearning for deliverance from their cold-hearted shepherd. I often wonder what mindblowing epiphany will compel the sheep to shed their wool and become lions treading through the fields of rebellion. It’s not enough for the sheep to know their shepherd is up to no good. They need to want to flee from his care. Herein lie the wall that won’t crack…

The movie “Spotlight” captures the essence of investigative journalism

Spotlight is based on The Boston Globe’s Pulitzer Prize winning coverage of a major sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic Archdiocese in Boston. The investigation revealed that high-ranking members of the Church covered-up sexual abuse of children by settling claims out of court and allowing guilty priests to keep their jobs. The initial report covered the actions of a priest named Paul Geoghan who was implicated in numerous abuse cases, and a prominent member of the Catholic Church in Boston, Cardinal Bernard Law, who knew about the abuse for years. Spotlight, The Globe’s investigation team, published its first story on January 6, 2002 along with the phone number of a hotline allowing more victims to come forth with allegations. Numerous investigations followed, uncovering hundreds of cases with thousands of victims in archdiocese across the US.

The movie “Spotlight” captures the essence of investigative journalism

Spotlight is based on The Boston Globe’s Pulitzer Prize winning coverage of a major sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic Archdiocese in Boston. The investigation revealed that high-ranking members of the Church covered-up sexual abuse of children by settling claims out of court and allowing guilty priests to keep their jobs. The initial report covered the actions of a priest named Paul Geoghan who was implicated in numerous abuse cases, and a prominent member of the Catholic Church in Boston, Cardinal Bernard Law, who knew about the abuse for years. Spotlight, The Globe’s investigation team, published its first story on January 6, 2002 along with the phone number of a hotline allowing more victims to come forth with allegations. Numerous investigations followed, uncovering hundreds of cases with thousands of victims in archdiocese across the US.

Yell it out a Window (Lyrics)

Lies are what make us settle Truth gonna tear us apart Yell it out a window Ooh ahah oOoh ahahah Tired of the fight or fly off Burnt out on what you say Back up against the Ooh ahah oOoh ahahah You hardly ever win a battle You say I’ll never win the war I’m […]

It was All a Dream…

Wreckage befell her disbelieving eyes. Windows smashed, furniture torn to shreds, valuables ransacked and left on the floor. Her family photos had been all but completely ravaged, peering out of the rubble as if to play a painful game of hide and seek. She was floored by the sight of her annihilation, dazed at the thought that she would never put back together the puzzle pieces of the life that she had fortified with love and tears.

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A Letter to My Evil Alter (Journal Entry)

Dearest Mean Mean Maria Jean,

We’ve been through many tough times together, and you’ve always been there to stick it to anybody who tried to hurt me. You’ve made me laugh, cry, gag, cough, sneeze and damn near crap my pants all at the same time, and for that I am grateful. 

However, the time has come for me to let go of all my anger and resentments. I can no longer partake in pity-parties and mud-slinging contests with you. Although the things you say are funny, certain people might misconstrue some of the mean and hurtful things you say and do as childish and lacking in self-awareness. 

Just Wait a Moment (Poem)

Just wait a moment child
And the answers will come to you

As sure as I am
I assure you

The answers are there
And they are waiting for you

They’re right around the corner
They’re in your dreams at night

They’re in the dirt
They’re in the air
They’re in the morning light