Step One: Powerlessness (Twelve Steps)
Addiction is the cold war pulling at our heartstrings; each an isolation of its own and all unwilling to reach out in communion with the rest. It’s a cold war that leaves us seething with resentment and anger over the people, places, and things we have no control over.
Enslaved by social norms, jonesing for distraction, obsessed with feel-good moments, fixated on the notion that the whole world revolves around whatever prison we have created for ourselves.
Step One: Unmanageability (Twelve Steps)
‘And my life has become unmanageable…’ This is clearly an understatement for the life that I have led since birth. I’ve been a loner, a pessimist, an antagonist, a miserable wretch. I’ve been a liar, a cheater, a wallower in my own self-made dispair. I’ve been a walking, talking, babbling brook of disaster.
My Little Friend (Poem)
Say hello to my little friend
The psalm of my hand in my brain
Never end
The Truth is a work living on
Never sin
Can take what you want
But you can’t ever win
Can’t shake my hand
Can’t take my friend
You can war the whole world
But the world won’t give in
The Lions and the Lambs (Journal Entry)
There’s a knot in my gut the size of my fist. I try to ignore it but it cries out like a mother bird in distress. Much like the premonitions that warned me against the crooked path I doomed myself to take. Seems the hell I’ve known is mercy compared to the hell that is to come.
The whole world is a human centipede. Battered sheep yearning for deliverance from their cold-hearted shepherd. I often wonder what mindblowing epiphany will compel the sheep to shed their wool and become lions treading through the fields of rebellion. It’s not enough for the sheep to know their shepherd is up to no good. They need to want to flee from his care. Herein lie the wall that won’t crack…
The movie “Spotlight” captures the essence of investigative journalism
Spotlight is based on The Boston Globe’s Pulitzer Prize winning coverage of a major sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic Archdiocese in Boston. The investigation revealed that high-ranking members of the Church covered-up sexual abuse of children by settling claims out of court and allowing guilty priests to keep their jobs. The initial report covered the actions of a priest named Paul Geoghan who was implicated in numerous abuse cases, and a prominent member of the Catholic Church in Boston, Cardinal Bernard Law, who knew about the abuse for years. Spotlight, The Globe’s investigation team, published its first story on January 6, 2002 along with the phone number of a hotline allowing more victims to come forth with allegations. Numerous investigations followed, uncovering hundreds of cases with thousands of victims in archdiocese across the US.
The movie “Spotlight” captures the essence of investigative journalism
Spotlight is based on The Boston Globe’s Pulitzer Prize winning coverage of a major sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic Archdiocese in Boston. The investigation revealed that high-ranking members of the Church covered-up sexual abuse of children by settling claims out of court and allowing guilty priests to keep their jobs. The initial report covered the actions of a priest named Paul Geoghan who was implicated in numerous abuse cases, and a prominent member of the Catholic Church in Boston, Cardinal Bernard Law, who knew about the abuse for years. Spotlight, The Globe’s investigation team, published its first story on January 6, 2002 along with the phone number of a hotline allowing more victims to come forth with allegations. Numerous investigations followed, uncovering hundreds of cases with thousands of victims in archdiocese across the US.
No Tellin (Lyrics)
There’s no tellin
Why I can’t look you in your eyes
You tell me something
But I can’t see the truth in your lies
I’ll get through, But
Right now your ignorance is your fall
You take all, But
Your all is never what you give all
So tell me something
Why you can’t do what you say what you gonna do?
Go do you then
I’ll hit back
Get that
Bitch I’m a do you in
It was All a Dream…
Wreckage befell her disbelieving eyes. Windows smashed, furniture torn to shreds, valuables ransacked and left on the floor. Her family photos had been all but completely ravaged, peering out of the rubble as if to play a painful game of hide and seek. She was floored by the sight of her annihilation, dazed at the thought that she would never put back together the puzzle pieces of the life that she had fortified with love and tears.
Today’s Headlines
Heartache and Time (Journal Entry)
Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck between a dump truck and a cliff. As the days go by the harder it is to look back. But moving forward feels so empty, a void that can neither be filled nor emptied. The upside down of the right side wrong. The further I walk the more I’ve lost.
And as I lose the self that won’t come back to me. I detach from the life that meant so much to me. I can’t remember the good or the bad. It’s like I jumped out a wormhole and forgot what just happened.
The Lions and the Lambs (Journal Entry)
There’s a knot in my gut the size of my fist. I try to ignore it but it cries out like a mother bird in distress. Much like the premonitions that warned me against the crooked path I doomed myself to take. Seems the hell I’ve known is mercy compared to the hell that is to come.
The whole world is a human centipede. Battered sheep yearning for deliverance from their cold-hearted shepherd. I often wonder what mindblowing epiphany will compel the sheep to shed their wool and become lions treading through the fields of rebellion. It’s not enough for the sheep to know their shepherd is up to no good. They need to want to flee from his care. Herein lie the wall that won’t crack…
