That’s the way it goes (Lyrics)

Down side of up Upside of down Wrong side of right Outside of town It’s not alright to feel down It’s not enough to be strong What’s on the news is all the same What’s in their mouths is over rated All the promises are shady They tell us all to settle down That’s the wayeeeee That’s the wayeeeee That’s the wayeeeee That’s the way it goes

The Coast is Never Clear (Poem)

As I start the next chapter in my autobiography I praise the Good Lord for waking me up another day Free from the horrors of active addiction I have found a way to live and enjoy life… just for the day I thank God oh Lord for stickin and stayin Even in my darkest hour The hideous four horsemen were denied the boast of my obliteration Terror, bewilderment, frustration, despair The whistling winds of loneliness The burdens I couldn’t bear All have been arrested along with worry and fear I’m talking about a God who taught me how to sit up straight Get down on my knees and pray Quit whining and communicate

Rise Anew (Poem)

Why did she stay? A disaffected introvert Constantly searching for answers in the only place she knew she could trust Her mind Disconnected from the culture A visionary whose tunnel discovered the truths that few can comprehend before she ever even read a book He was like an experiment of sorts She knew he had it all wrong But her curiosity was magnetized by rabbit holes And once she went in them she refused to come back out until she went all the way through

. . . (Poem)

Someone snatched my body and took it for a ride  I was there But not really Your judgments don’t apply  It’s really hard to look back at the person I never was  It’s even harder to remember that place I went to take time off 

Unpacking? (Poem)

Terror Beneath the fog Among the thorns Inside a box High on a shelf Behind the curtain Around a cell So neatly packed and put away At times it seems surreal The struggles that it took to put a box upon a shelf Maybe if I pull it down and take a peek inside I’ll sweat relief in finding it was all a mess of mind Yeah right…

My Happy Place (Poem)

Memories are a fantasy that I dont dare to dream. As I fixate on the present, the past steeps further into the vortex as I stir my cup of tea. Peppermint and chamomile invigorate my senses. Steam rouses its way across my bosom through my face, as I slowly run my fingernails up and down the back of my thighs. Vibrations tingle through every sensual nook. I can hear every sound echoing faintly, a sort of white noise that soothes like the ocean’s waves. A hint of vanilla mingles with the scent of freshly washed linens.

Eeeeeek… (Journal Entry)

OMG… I just saw some stupid video I made years ago about my alleged sobriety. I was so messed up back then. It’s all a blur. I dont remember much, but what I do remember is that my brain was shot. It was like I could literally feel the PTSD pulsing through my membrane, which made it very hard to think straight. I was angry, erratic, unreasonable, on edge. I felt like I was a passenger on someone else’s ride.

Befuddled (Poem)

Why did I pick you? It’s such a puzzle I lost my wit Inside your pit You had me at befuddled

The Gaslight List (Poem)

The List, The List Anything but the list Place any burden on me Just don’t go down the list Isn’t it exhausting? To keep tabs on every slight? Every argument? Every rumor? Every paranoid, homespun lie?

Cannibal Stew (Poem)

I poured my guts into your hideaway Naive as it may be I thought you’d shelter me Bit by bit Sliver by sliver You took it all to make cannibal stew