Timmy Time

I have so much to say about this abortion shit. Mostly, allz I have to say is that’s what you get for thinking that freedom means you have to vote for someone to tell you what to do. Now you gon have your little Timmys and feed them too…

Elvis Movie

I’m going to get a mani and pedi for my hot date to see Elvis. Don’t be jelly when you could be peanutbutter…

Over the Rainbow

I love gay people, but come on, two rainbows? I’m still pissed about the first one and now you add another? Oh the hypocrisy… Making everyone part of the rainbow except straight people. I suppose if you did that then it wouldn’t be about sex anymore… God forbid…

The Big Speech

My doctor gave The Big Speech yesterday about smoking cigarettes. He kept yammering on about catching the killer by sleuthing information and writing clues I’m my handy dandy notebook. I suppose he’s right. I quit for five months. And now the killer broke out of prison and is coming for me. Story of my life. […]

Beautiful Day in Brooklyn

Damn, it’s nice round deez parts. I’m gonna walk across the bridge on Wednesday. Maybe I’ll have a picnic and take a nap in the park. OooOooh… that sounds nice…

Chantix Appointment

I been waiting for this appointment all month. First they said I don’t have an appointment, and now they’re making me wait. This is bulsh… And now it’s raining. Of course I gotta go to Brooklyn tonight… grrrrr… And now this old dude is telling stories about what a mack he is. Reminds me of […]

Zombie Apocalypse

I just realized I’m going to be working all day today. I’m working a double then I gotta go to disaster training, whereupon they are taking pics for our IDs. I hope I don’t look tired. I was supposed to bring my bugout bag but it’s not ready yet. It’s gonna be the best one. […]

Thought Stopping

I was feeling hurt earlier. Then some random lady called to curse me out over some random shit. And then I thought stopped my hurt feelings. Why should I feel hurt by those who are strangers in my life. They don’t know me. If they don’t want to know me it’s their loss. The people […]

3 Rules for Revolution

After many years of trying to prove commonsense to complete MORONz, I have firmly established three simple rules for revolution. These three simple rules will bypass a whole lot of unecessary bullhonkey: 1. Say what you need to say. Take nothing back. They can take it how they want it. 2. Don’t argue with idiots […]

Made you feel? (Poem)

What’s all that yappin? Can’t stand the sound I made you feel what? It’s all in your mound That pile of horseshit stopped up in your head Drowning out everything wise and well read Feelings stem from thoughts And thoughts are all your own So if you say I made you feel something It shows how much you know The only thing I could ever make you feel is a slap upside your skull But I would never do that see Cuz that’d be too simple I’d best to leave you to your thoughts That war inside your head Those battles you don’t claim to own Those wounds that you won’t mend Maybe youll find victory And claim your mighty throne Or maybe you’ll just sit a sulk And blame this shitty world