Tolerance for Bullsh** (Poem)

In hindsight
it is always with incredible foresight
that my tolerance for bullshit
leads me back to counting days

I never put much thought into it
Into why I tolerate people, places and things that hinge on character assassination
All the while showing little tolerance toward those who can potentially elevate my character

I see now that tolerance is how I view myself
If I can’t tolerate someone it’s because I can’t tolerate something within myself

And that’s where things get twisted…

I tolerate other people’s bullshit because I tolerate my own bullshit
When I can’t deal with the bullshit anymore
I character assassinate the bullshitters
just like I character assassinate myself

Then
when I’m feeling real good and shitty
I lash out at everyone who could possibly elevate my character
because I can’t elevate that which I assassinate

I tolerate and assassinate
until I’m crawling my way back into the rooms
looking like oughtta be there

But not anymore
You see

Because there are no strings on this back
And no cuffs on these hands

And it’s a HELL-TO-THE-NO
if anybody thinks they can play games with my head

Can I get a halelujia when I say…
It’s God first
Me second
And everybody else can pick a number and wait in line

I don’t care who you are
If you want to disrespect me with your double-standards
And your terms and conditions
And your backhanded positive regard  
You can go on ahead dwell in that bubble

I won’t hate
I won’t character assassinate
I won’t even try to correct you when you’re wrong
Cuz the path toward God is a personal journey that can only be revealed by God

I can’t make you see
All I can do is surrender quietly