First Thought Wrong (Poem)

I’m caught up in a cycle of first thought wrong
Second thought vain
Third athought lost

I coast the banks of sabatoge
Graze the pastures of fear

Maintain a contemptible attitude toward the information I need
And a grudge against life’s terms

The bulk of my thoughts are all about me
And they bury the thoughts that put someone else first

The strange part about it is I hate myself
I’m an expert at digging my grave

I let everyone around me fracture my faith
Then sit around wishing I could be like everyone else

My ways are fettered in irony
I got a plague called first thought wrong

I’m perfectly broken
And fallibly made

And I try to stay twelve thoughts past first thought wrong