Today I Am Grateful (Journal Entry)

Will I be treated like dirt by my loved ones until they bury me in dirt?

Will I always exist just to waste space on this magnificent planet?

Will I ever have the means to truly live?

Will I be homeless in six months when they boot me out of rehab?

Will I ever be the best version of the me I know I can be?

Will I ever start a revolution?

Normally I would wit and dwell on these futile questions until the devil consumes me with the uncontrollable urge to fuck my life up even more than I already have.

But right now…

I AM content in knowing that I have everything I need right now.

I AM grateful that I have supports who are guiding me through my pathway to recovery.

I AM free from the abusive, retraumatizing interactions that lead to PTSD so chronic that my brain turned to literal mush and I could no longer make sense out of life.

I AM happy to be alive and working to strengthen my mind, body and soul.

The eNd