Let me try this again… (Twelve Steps)

Hello, my name is Maria and I am a…
fall down
blackout
barf shit and never clean it up
saint by day demon by night
self-centered
self-hating
self-sabotaging
backsliding
mean

The Bough Breaks (Lyrics)

Down by the river
I see the sunflowers in the rain
And I can’t forgive that double rainbow
For finding me a dead end road again

Beneath the Crack (Poem)

Days seem like hours
Three months went by last week Plans are all forgotten
Woes are all I speak

I Want to Live (Poem)

I want to live
Not just exist
Trying to survive one day to the next I want to love
Impervious love
Not the kind of love that can’t stand it all

Growing up in Spanish Harlem

Welp… I did it. I went to rehab. Now I’m living in sober housing in Spanish Harlem. I’ll write more about it one of these days. I been  been attending a lot of groups so I don’t have much time.

Genesis (Poem)

Dedicated to my sister in recovery, Genesis…
The book of genesis is full of hard won battles
Successes and failures
Trials that persist until the end of times
The road to recovery is like the exodus to the land of milk and honey 
Only those who persist in doing what is right can make it to the promised land

What it is (Poem)

Dedicated to my sister in recovery, Amelia… If it is what it is
It can’t be what it was
Cuz if it is what it was
Then what was is all there is
And if what was is all there is
Then there can never be anything else