Stuck (Poem)

Every day is the same

I wake up wishing I hadn’t
And go to bed hoping I’ll never wake up

I get a little bit older
And a lotta more cold

This bitterness inside drags me to the floor
A baby fit tantrum that never seems to get old

I put a ball on my chain
Then kicked it through a wall

Now I’m stuck in the middle of yesterday and tomorrow

I don’t know how to quit buggin
I don’t know to have faith

I don’t know the first thing about happiness or the pursuit of better days

I sit around thinking of all the things I should do
Then I don’t
Then I sit around shit-talking myself for not getting things done

Sometimes I stare at the wall for hours
When it’s quiet
And there’s no one around
Blank mind
Blank thoughts
Blank canvas
No distractions

They try to tell me to get out of my own way
But I don’t know what way that is

The maze in my mind is more twisted than a lid

They say I should stand tall
And hang in there til the end

But fuck it
I’m going back to bed