The Hardest Step (Poem)

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The disease of isolation
Self-pity and self-harm
Anger and resentment
Selfish lies and selfish wants

It’s baffling
So obscure
Cunning and hard

It’s your own personal Satan pounding at your door

It’s the first place you run to when you want to hide
And the last place that gets you where you want to go

It gives you everything you want
But nothing that you need

It never ends the way you thought
You’re finished before you start

It’s the ups and downs and runarounds
You’re lost and then you’re found

Your best thinking on your best day leads to faceplant in the ground

They say that you can beat it
You can do it on your own

You don’t need to quit
Just learn to slow your roll

But you know you much better
A thousand is never enough

That first drink is a prelude to blackouts, shots, and cuffs

Your life has become unmanageable
There’s nowhere left to hide your shame

But that first step takes more courage than any battle you ever slayed

This ain’t lip service
It ain’t wordplay
It’s not a quick walk in the park

Admitting you are powerless means you know not who you are
You know not what you need

You don’t know the first thing about living a life that sets you free

If the first step ain’t the hardest
Then you ain’t doing it right

Better to let it simmer
Than to blaze it up
And blow out the light

 

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