Step One: Cleaning House (Journal Entry)

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When I exited rehab I had a new sense of order in my life. I was on schedule. I woke up every day at seven o’clock, showered, dressed, made my bed, cleaned my room, made a to-do list, read some daily reflections and wrote in my journal. Most importantly, I attended meetings and maintained a fellowship with recovering addicts.

As time went on, I stopped going to meetings, stopped writing in my journal, stopped reading reflections and started wallowing in bed more and more each day. Then that glorious and totally anticipated slip happened.

I don’t know if it was the slip that woke me up or if the Wellbutrin finally kicked in and gave me the energy to endure the weather. I truly cannot function when there are clouds in the sky or mist in the air. But that’s another story.

Today I am reclaiming that sense of order in my life. I’m cleaning out my closet, organizing my junk drawer, making a to-do list, compiling some daily reflections to read, researching some NA and AA meetings to attend and preparing to commit to a daily routine.

I realize sobriety requires more than abstaining from addictive substances. Sobriety is a state of mind, and a way of living that requires rigorous honesty.

I pray that I may live each day in an honest effort to maintain order in my life. I pray that I may never give way to the behavior that leads to addiction.

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