I Don’t Want to Live (Poem)

I don’t want to live no more
I don’t want to breathe
I don’t want to want
I don’t want to grieve

I just want to lay here helplessy
As I drift away into endless sleep

I want to bust my fist right through a wall
As I kick and scream and curse my fall

I want to bury my head in the sands of time
Jump off a cliff to see if I can fly

But I know I won’t do it
Cuz I know it ain’t right

So I’ll keep on truckin
Til I burn out my light

And I’ll keep on grieving
Cuz at the end of the day

My life is worth living
Just to get in your way

Step One: Powerlessness (Twelve Steps)

Upon much contemplation over what powerlessness means to me I have reached the fullness of my conviction. I struggled with powerlessness the first time I got sober because it was easy for me to stop drinking. If I was powerless over alcoholism why was I able to quit with such ease? It wasn’t until my resentments came to a boil that I gave way to a nearly two-year run of binge drinking and blackouts.

What if you fly? (Poem)

What if I fall?
Oh but my darling
What if you fly?
What if you reach for the stars?
And blow past the sky?

What if you spread out your wings
And glide through the night
Throwing shots at the wind
And the fading lights

What if you fall and get back up
with thrice the strength you had before
Then pick up the pace and rail through the storm

What if you forget your fears of loss
And all those things you do regret
And put your mind to all glory
of the gifts that you beget

You may fall
But oh my darling
I promise you will fly
You will spread those wings of glory
Like grace in the sky