Dear Maria,
You are the grooviest chick I know. You have so many awesome talents just waiting to burst forth from your vault of hidden superpowers. All you need to do is stay focused and don’t let the man get you down.
You can get through your piddly bouts of wallowing self-dispair. I mean come on, are you kidding me? Look at yourself. Don’t be such a whiney woo woo head. You’re always talking about how people need to stop whining and take action, then you turn right around and boo hoo hoo.
Pull yourself together. You are a beautiful, talented, courageous woman with the superhuman strength to move mountains. Get with the program.
Love,
Your Higher Power
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